Testimonies

Lori Kahn Testimony

Life was good. I was active in the LDS Church, had some interesting callings, (church- related assignments) even taught once a month in the Women's Relief Society. I had no reason to question anything. The people were nice, and I was an active, "temple worthy", temple-active Latter-day Saint.

I got the call one morning at work that my grandfather was on his deathbed. My grandfather lived next door to my mom during most of my childhood and my parents were divorced so he was like a father to me. I dropped everything I was doing and drove the six hours it took to get back home. But when I got to his room in the hospital I was too late...he had passed away an hour before I arrived. I was left to look at only a mere shadow of what my grandfather once was. This moment for me is still etched in my mind as the start of several years of exploration and journey from Mormonism to Biblical Christianity.

When I saw his body lying there I was struck by what was missing...his spirit, his light, the essence of what he was... was gone. I knew without a doubt there was life after death. And for some reason I found no comfort in the LDS Church, and though I had been fairly active up to that point, I couldn't bring myself to set foot ever again inside those church doors.

I wasn't born and raised in the LDS Church. I joined the church shortly after I married my husband who had been a Mormon most of his life. At the time it wasn't that big of a step for me. I had gone to the LDS Church with my high school boyfriend for several years. I took the missionary discussions back then, and then again shortly after I was married. The missionaries were nice, and my husband had many longtime church friends, good salt of the earth type of people, how could it be wrong?

And then there were the lovely commercials and short movies the church produces. I wanted that too! Looking back, at the time, I was truly hungry for God and the righteous life a relationship with Him can produce... I thought I had found it when I joined the Mormon Church. I thought of it as almost Christianity plus! It appeared to me at the time to be the most wholesome and righteous church, without all the division I wrongly perceived was in traditional Christianity. I was proud to be a Mormon!

But something snapped in me that day my grandfather died. I think I knew intuitively what my mind didn't. My grandfather was a born again Christian, and somehow I knew he had made peace with God through the Savior Jesus Christ.

LDS doctrine taught that a worthy Mormon would need to do a temple ritual on behalf of my grandfather in order for him to advance in the afterlife. From the deepest part of me it didn't make sense that someone else could do something for my grandfather's salvation.

As I searched, and prayed and kept searching some more, God was slowly revealing Himself to me. He sent some wonderful Christian friends our way including someone who had actually left the LDS Church. And as I started to search I also remembered things about LDS doctrine that bothered me, but I never allowed myself to dwell on. For example, the teaching that we would someday become a god. No, I didn't want to be a god...I wanted to worship God. The God who made me and the incredible Universe and everything in it! And the other big red flag for me was a teaching that implied that blacks were somehow cursed or inferior to whites.

And then there were the strange temple rituals, and the movie shown in the temple that mocked Christian pastors and traditional Christianity. (The temple film was edited to remove some of these offensive scenes in 1992) I remember a chill that went up my spine when I was anointed with oil in the temple as a High Priestess. The only other time I heard that term used was in my adolescence when a friend and I dabbled in witchcraft. "Why use that term in a house of God?" I thought.

During one conversation with our new ex-Mormon friend he pointed out that the Bible warns that Satan is a deceiver. He talked about Joseph Smith's encounter with an "angel of light" and how II Corinthians 11:14 states "... Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light." It was the first time I had ever heard of the Devil masquerading as something righteous.

My friend gave me a tape of his pastor explaining the difference between works and grace. I was already very weary of trying to somehow work my way to heaven. I felt like I was slowly dying inside. When the pastor read Jesus' words it especially touches me, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest...for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28; 30)

Grace was so simple, so beautiful, so complete and filling. And what a relief! What a joy! As I gave my life to Christ I soon found the truth of John 10:10, "...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

And what irony! Soon after my husband and I both became Christians we were having dinner at the house of some Christian friends. We started talking about the Bible, excited about how the Lord was working in our lives. Laughing, sharing, eating cookies, sipping tea, the teenagers and younger children were all gathered around table with the adults. I realized if a camera had been in the room it would have captured something that looked just like one of those great emotional Mormon ads...only this time it wasn't the counterfeit, it was for real.

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